Nightmares Before, During, and After Christmas

Something about Christmastime brings out the macabre in me. Whenever I stroll past rows of big screen TVs in some store playing "It's a Wonderful Life," I wish "Saw" or "The Shining" was playing, or better yet, "A History of Violence" or "The Seventh Seal."

I was ill for a while this year, literally stuck in bed for four miserable months, and found myself watching an enormous amount of horror flicks: awesome movies, and bad ones, some so terrible they made me laugh until I cried; it didn't really matter what it was, as long as it had an element of horror. It made me feel immeasurably better to watch zombies ripping off peoples' heads, oh how lovely to feel a burring shiver as Count Orlok stalked Thomas and Ellen Hutter. Nosferatu was my hot date; I had no desire for Brad Pitt. The very last thing I could have dealt with at this time was a thoughtful drama or lighthearted comedy.

I have come to think that watching horror, reading horror, can be at its most satisfying during the darkest and alternately, the lightest times. The saccharine, artificial veneer of Christmas can seem surreal, even ugly at times. Maybe horror helps strike a balance. The lows of being ill or depressed, that is when the macabre can be strangely close, like a companion coming to visit, whose hand you don't feel like a weakling for holding onto because the depths are familiar to this companion.

Strangely, I don't care for Halloween so much; the organization and widespread nature of the holiday makes it not a cathartic experience for me, and I suppose the thought (real or imagined) of all those people saving up their inner demons and letting them run free just once a year gives me the willies. But oh, bring on Christmasy nightmares.

Come Christmas, I'll raise a glass of wine, snug into the warmth of human kindness, rekindle friendships, sing Christmas carols with the family; I'll be the loudest one singing. I can do this, with all honestly and feeling, thanks to frequent visits to the dark side.

Tell me, does Christmas bring out anything unusual in you all? I'm listening.

Twilight? Why Yes, I Have.

I don't know if it's because I live in Utah and Stephanie Meyers is Mormon, or if I'd get this reaction anywhere in the world, but every time an acquaintance here discovers I like writing fantasy, their first question will be, "Have you read the Twilight series?" I've tried changing up the "no" versions of my answer, but after the no, this portion of the conversation ends; the twinkle in the acquaintance's eyes dulls.

During World Fantasy convention in San Jose, CA a few weeks ago, these business guys were checking in at the front desk and inquired which con had taken over the Hyatt. "World Fantasy," my colleagues and I called out as we passed. To my surprise, their faces went sneery and their next question was, were people casting spells and riding broomsticks around the hotel? Was there biting going on? I realize I shouldn't have been all that surprised by their reaction, but I was. Twilight and Harry Potter equal fantasy right now, but that is not what fantasy is right now.

I can imagine mainstream or literary fiction writers in the midst of a root canal. Their dentist will lean over, peering inside their mouths as a drill ominously drones in the background, and say, "So you write, eh? You read The Davinci Code?" I'm fairly certain this gives those writers a case of the sads, as it tends to when a single book has come to represent entire genres of fiction.

Many, many people have read Twilight, and many of those people are probably unaware that fantasy as a genre has undergone major transformations; it's become more sophisticated and literary than ever. There will always be a Twilight, a new representative, just as Lord of the Rings represents the old guard. I don't resent it, especially since I haven't read the books for myself, and have decided to read them even if the premises don't make me tingle, if, in part, just to find out what happens when I say, "Why yes, I've read them." Probably, I'll follow up by recommending a Kelly Link or Jeff VanderMeer or Becca De La Rosa story. Probably, the twinkle in their eyes will die, and the conversation will end.


Here's the funniest thing I've seen in a good while: Tom Cruise auditioning for New Moon. Oh yes, I would go see this movie. Today I would.

Celebrity Auditions: New Moon from Electric Spoofaloo on Take180.com

November Rain

A huge ball of light flared over the Utah sky just after midnight on Wednesday, so bright that those who saw it said it was like daytime for a moment. 911 got called a whole lot. Some people thought it was a nuclear blast. Others thought the apocalypse had come, or suspected alien invasion.

What really happened was a washing machine-sized meteor entered our atmosphere and exploded against it. People saw it from as far away as Tucson, Arizona, and here in the Salt Lake area, people felt the sonic boom. Street light sensors clicked off from the glare.

Meanwhile, I slept through the whole thing. These photo stills captured some inkling of the awesomeness. Brighter than day, some people said.

Medusa Complex

Excerpt:
You have opened the box, so we’ll have to assume that your mother is dead. We would like to offer our sincerest condolences. It’s not going to help, drinking vast quantities of rum out of Holiday Inn Dixie cups, but we agree it dulls the edges. We do think you should stop drinking, however, and focus on these instructions.

This is the opening to my story, "Medusa Complex," up at Fantasy Magazine. It's a gritty, strange story that turned out to be the most fun and rewarding of anything I've written thus far. I especially hope that women find something to like in it, as it is an odd kind of love story to them, in particular.

A Long Time Ago, in a Galaxy Far, Far Away

Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog (aka, Robert Smigel) is hilarious, but his improv in the line for the last Star Wars premeire may have been his best ever. I'm a Star Wars fan myself, and these uber-fans showed they could really take a joke.

My favorite bits are when Robert Smigel is so overwhelmed by the wealth of comic fodder that he can't control his own laughing.

*I do have to give this a lewd, rude material warning.

Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog - Star Wars - watch more funny videos

Flash Love

If you're interested in fabulous, extremely well-written, and perfectly dark and gritty flash stories, I wholeheartedly recommend Sean Markey's "Shatter Shatter" at Brain Harvest. (It's the second story down, and straight on till morning.)

Brain Harvest specializes in short, 800 word stories, a professional market I have come to admire, where I can count on finding quality, experimental work that pushes the boundaries.

Best American Fantasy and Shimmer

In Shimmer news, Kuzhali Manickavel's wonderful “Flying and Falling” from Shimmer's Art issue will appear in Best American Fantasy 3! Congratulations to her, and to two other Shimmer authors to make BAF's short list as recommended reading: Aliette De Bodard, with "Within the City of the Swan” from the Art Issue, and M. K. Hobson, with the cover story from Issue 9, “The Hand of the Devil on a String.”

Check out Beth Wodzinski's blog to read more. She's offering issues 8 and 9 at ridiculously reduced prices (ranging from one to three dollars). Come get some!